*Authors Note: Sometimes during my quiet time, I read through previous journal entries. I found this prayer I wrote a month ago and it still resonated so deeply again today that I thought to share it with you in it’s true, raw form. No edits, no fluffing, just raw.
Heavenly Father, you set me free today from the chains of perfectionism. I see how I’ve been striving, struggling, beating myself up over trying to be “perfect.” All to earn more of your love and if I can earn your love and I’m perfect in your site, then I’ll be ready for the man you’ll have me marry. My companion. My Boaz. Just like Ruth was perfect enough to be noticed, I need to be perfect enough to be noticed.
Father in my prayer today, you showed me all the things I’ve done throughout my life and you opened my heart to experience how much you love me in each of those moments of weakness and imperfections. You pursued me, loved me, waited for me and celebrated when I returned. You rejoice over me daily – just like I rejoice when I see my friends.
You greet me each morning with a hug and a big smile, ready to delight in me. You sit and wait for the words to come through my mouth so we can begin our sweet conversations. You don’t need me to have been perfect to show up in the morning. You love me with a perfect, everlasting love that I cannot even begin to understand because we humans are not perfect and don’t love each other perfectly.
Father, thank you for everything – Ev.Ery.Thing. Every tear, temptation, struggle, heartbreak, rejection, sin I’ve committed – you have loved me through. You have wrapped your arms around me and held on so tight while I’ve cried angry dark tears, sometimes just disobedient tears – you held on so tight and loved me like crazy. Just like how you’ve shown me to do with Brigg. Because what you know I’m really saying is, “I’m scared, I’m ashamed, I’m worthless, I’m not good enough to be loved, because I failed and I messed up.”
Thank you God for showing me your prefect love this morning so I can love others even better.
